How often does this happen for you? Do you think you could do things differently?As mums and dads, it is very common to say these phrases to our children to get them to do what we ask. However, it is harder to follow an instruction if we do not know why we are being asked to do it or what purpose it serves. In these kinds of situations, what works best is to be disruptive.Being disruptive means doing things differently: looking for ways to help our children understand what they need to do, what is not okay and, in general, to raise them in an optimal way. In short, it is very similar to a parenting style focused on positive discipline.To understand this concept, let’s first talk about positivity. Have you ever met someone with a positive outlook on life? What is that person like emotionally? What is their relationship with others like? What kinds of phrases do they say often?When we are around positive people, their mere presence makes us feel good. And we are talking about people who have a realistic positive mindset; that is, people who know that bad times are temporary and not permanent, who see failure as an obstacle and not an ending, who do not generalise, who bounce back quickly from adversity and who have better relationships with others. People with extreme positivity are those who do not weigh up risks, think everything will turn out well and simply sit and wait for things to happen; they have rigid thinking and take little responsibility for circumstances.Coming back to the “positive” in positive parenting, we are referring to your ability to notice everything your children do achieve and everything they are interested in that can support their optimal development.In other words, this style of parenting has to do with being, for our children: respectful, encouraging, genuinely interested in them, gentle, and focused on fostering life skills. The aim is that what they learn at their current age has a long-term impact, so that they become respectful people, solve problems efficiently, and have better relationships with others, among other things.If you have decided to use positive discipline in raising your children, keep these techniques in mind:Connect before you correct. We all feel better when we know we are being listened to, validated and understood. First listen, then validate what they are feeling and then help them understand the situation.Be firm without stopping being kind. Say what needs to be said using the right words. You do not have to choose between the two.Focus on solutions, not repercussions. Punishments almost always generate unpleasant emotions. Showing that even in adversity there are positive options that benefit them encourages responsibility and resilience.Let them make their own decisions. Give them space to choose; you can guide them towards what seems best for their development. In this way, they gradually build self-confidence, which is essential at their age. If they make a wrong decision, help them take responsibility for the consequences.Teach by example. We learn more from what we see others do than from what they tell us; the same is true for your children. They are watching everything you say and do, so help them by being a role model. Remember that what you do carries much more weight than what you say.Positive discipline is documented as effective because it invites mums and dads to treat their children with love and respect without losing the authority needed to guide them. This does not mean that if you already treat your children with love you are necessarily using this approach, nor that other parenting approaches are not valid.Let’s remember that the better informed we are, the better we can choose the style of parenting that fits us as responsible adults and that is best for our children. That will be the parenting approach you should follow.The education your children receive with us is based on curiosity, collaboration and problem-solving, nurturing from these early years their self-esteem, independence, creativity and emotional self-regulation, in partnership with families.In our teaching and learning process, we have the task of shaping confident, happy and curious students, supporting their development for the next stages of life and school. All of this happens within a community that cares, promotes values, and fosters empathy and a global mindset.
